he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
