In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's just like the Real World with babies
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
