I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
