Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
