i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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