I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
