garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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