Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
