i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just found a bag of teeth...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
