I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
