Pappa wants mamma naked
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
