problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
