i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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