i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize