used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
