Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
