Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
