you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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