just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
