is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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