I like to think it a success when the cops are called
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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