Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
