Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
