I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
