Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
