I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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