She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
