Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
