I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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