I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
