mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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