debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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