I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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