Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
