sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize