it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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