What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
