tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
