No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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