Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
