Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
