I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
