Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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