So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
