Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
