Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
