I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
