Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize