There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
