is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
