Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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