Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
