Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
