It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
what day is it and did you see me today?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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