I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
