woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
