omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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