You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
