Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
this is an emotional support booty call
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize