The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
