Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize