That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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