He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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