I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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