I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
