I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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