I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
