i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize