i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize